My Requirements for the perfect man...

I know this is corny, and most people probably don't care, but I have decided that the man I will marry must be in posession of certain qualities, which will assure me that he is actually Mr. Right and not an imposter.

1. Mr. Right will not be an overbearing asshole. He will be calm, polite, and nice to my friends, even if they are not his favorite people.

2. He will eat anything I cook, even if it is somewhat undercooked in places, and burnt in others.

3. Said man will not care that I am "Rubenesque" - a nice word for saying I am not so slender. He will lust after my curves and enjoy every one of them.

4. He must be a tiger in bed. I want to go to sleep every night absolutely exhausted by his attentions. (Sounds good doesn't it?)

5. The perfect man will not be afraid of tears. If I cry in a movie, its because its emotional, not because something is wrong. However, if I am crying because I really am upset, he will kiss away the tears, apologize if it is something he did, or make amends the best way he can if it is not his fault.

6. He will love children, and have no objection to me bearing his children. He will also still be attentive to me whilst I am pregnant, and not find me repugnent. I must "glow" to him, even if I look like shit because of the hormones.

7. Mr. Right will know how to drive. By drive, I mean, not like an idiot. No e-brake turns, no skidding around on the ice, and no curvy curvy swerves on the hiway.

8. He must be taller than me. I know it sounds stupid, but it would really bug me if he was shorter than me. Its just a pet peeve.

9. My man will get along with my family, love them, argue with them, and treat them as if they were his own. He will also agree with me when I say that they are complete whack jobs.

10. The most important quality that this man must posess is love. He will love me with all his heart, and make sure he tells me everyday. He will be loving and faithful, and take care of me for the rest of our lives.