Bulls in a China Shop - NO! - Laura in a Donut Shop
So today is one of the realtor's wedding anniversary, and I was asked to stop at Tim Horton's this morning to pick up a box of donuts to celebrate the occasion. Rather than go through drive-thru and have them hate me forever, I thought I should go in. Now I am wondering if I should have gone the drive-thru route, and damn the criticism.
Actual Situation:
Laura is standing in line for the till, when a young mother with her son get in line behind me. When it was my turn, I ordered 24 assorted donuts to go (for the office) and a medium iced capp and a BLT bagel (for me). Not to shabby, I thought. I had to go for the office anyway, so what the heck, right? Then I turned the side a bit, and caught the horrified glance of the young woman behind me. She looked as though someone had just tried to force-feed her a balloon. Her eyes were popping out of her head, and her mouth flapped in the wind of her breath not finding the words she was searching for. I instantly understood what she was assuming. She thought I was ordering all this food FOR ME!!! 2 things ran through my head.
Hypothetical Scenario #1:
I would turn to her and say "Aren't anniversary's wonderful? One of my co-workers has his 18th! Isn't that great? Hardly anyone stays married that long anymore. We are having a little get-together for him this morning, and he requested donuts."
Her mouth would close, she would lose the look of glazed terror, and feel slightly ashamed of herself.
Hypothetical Scenario #2:
The clerk would hand me the 2 large boxes of donuts, I would drop my purse, rip open my sweater ala The Hulk style, and dive face first into the boxes of donuts like I had not eaten in a week, and it was my only hope of survival. Of course, I would be looking up occasionally and growling at the other patrons, as if they were going to steal my delicious feast. In my mind's eye, I saw the judgemental young mother turn to her son and say, "See, this is why it is so scary to become fat! You would never want to be like her, would you?"
Actual Situation:
I stared at her until she realised she was staring, she blushed and looked down. I picked up the 2 boxes, and the small bag containing my breakfast, thanked the teller politely, and walked out of the store with my head held high.
I seriously don't understand people. Okay, I am a little bit bigger, but it's not like I am morbidly obese or anything. I carry a few extra pounds, so what? A lot of people do. But to have that kind of reaction? Hello! It's Tim Horton's. Tons of people make big orders, you know why? Because they are ordering for more than one person! I wanted to yell and scream and freak out.
But I didn't.
After all, I still have to live in this town.
It might have been fun to be known as the crazy donut lady though....
Actual Situation:
Laura is standing in line for the till, when a young mother with her son get in line behind me. When it was my turn, I ordered 24 assorted donuts to go (for the office) and a medium iced capp and a BLT bagel (for me). Not to shabby, I thought. I had to go for the office anyway, so what the heck, right? Then I turned the side a bit, and caught the horrified glance of the young woman behind me. She looked as though someone had just tried to force-feed her a balloon. Her eyes were popping out of her head, and her mouth flapped in the wind of her breath not finding the words she was searching for. I instantly understood what she was assuming. She thought I was ordering all this food FOR ME!!! 2 things ran through my head.
Hypothetical Scenario #1:
I would turn to her and say "Aren't anniversary's wonderful? One of my co-workers has his 18th! Isn't that great? Hardly anyone stays married that long anymore. We are having a little get-together for him this morning, and he requested donuts."
Her mouth would close, she would lose the look of glazed terror, and feel slightly ashamed of herself.
Hypothetical Scenario #2:
The clerk would hand me the 2 large boxes of donuts, I would drop my purse, rip open my sweater ala The Hulk style, and dive face first into the boxes of donuts like I had not eaten in a week, and it was my only hope of survival. Of course, I would be looking up occasionally and growling at the other patrons, as if they were going to steal my delicious feast. In my mind's eye, I saw the judgemental young mother turn to her son and say, "See, this is why it is so scary to become fat! You would never want to be like her, would you?"
Actual Situation:
I stared at her until she realised she was staring, she blushed and looked down. I picked up the 2 boxes, and the small bag containing my breakfast, thanked the teller politely, and walked out of the store with my head held high.
I seriously don't understand people. Okay, I am a little bit bigger, but it's not like I am morbidly obese or anything. I carry a few extra pounds, so what? A lot of people do. But to have that kind of reaction? Hello! It's Tim Horton's. Tons of people make big orders, you know why? Because they are ordering for more than one person! I wanted to yell and scream and freak out.
But I didn't.
After all, I still have to live in this town.
It might have been fun to be known as the crazy donut lady though....
posted by Laura @ 8:52 AM
7 Comments:
At June 01, 2006 11:31 PM,
life's a dream said…
Wow.. I can't believe you bought that many donuts for yourself!
... yeah right! who thinks like that? People always go to Timmy's and buy tons of things, obviously for friends or co-workers.. what the hell. Jeez.
At June 02, 2006 12:53 AM,
Shantelle said…
Thats right, you hold your head up high. You dont have to ansewer to anyone. That is exactly what I would of done, which is nothing. Sometimes the best burn is not saying one at all. Enough can be done with body language. I know its bad but pride can be fun.
At June 02, 2006 8:07 AM,
S* said…
Good grief. If she really thought that anyone would order 24 donuts for themselves, feel bad for her cuz things ain't workin' right upstairs!
If that had been me, I would have taken a donut out of the box and slowly licked it obscenely. Or something equally obnoxious. People like that annoy me and who cares what they think!
At June 02, 2006 9:49 AM,
Laura said…
Ooh! That would have been a good one. Licked it like it was the most sensual thing on earth. HAHAHAHA. I still get a kick out of imagining her face had I acted out scenario #2.
I suppose I should be sorry for her, but at the time, I was just angry.
At June 03, 2006 12:39 PM,
Anthony said…
Let her be.
Saying anything will make her think her way of thinking was vaild (ie. making up excuses.) So worry not about her. Shantelle is definitely right. Sometimes the best thing said is the thing that isn't said at all.
;)
At June 05, 2006 4:49 AM,
Leila said…
silly lady or no silly lady...i still wish we had donut shops here...scenario 2 would have been great though ;) heehee
or...alternatively and more subtly to option 2...just turn to her ans say: "doncha just luuuuuurve donuts?" with an inane grin on your face...lol. that would make her day!
At June 09, 2006 9:46 AM,
S* said…
That reminds me...I was talking to our receptionist (who literally has been working out 5 times a week and eats a really healthy diet). She's still on the large side for the time being. She always buys a ton of candy for the office and the checkout girl had the nerve to say, "You're not gonna eat all that?!" She calmly retorted, "Of course. I'd thought I'd have a little snack." Geez.
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