People are People
For some strange reason or another this is weighing on my mind today. Maybe it is because I got asked to work an extra weekend with my handicapped lady, but no matter the reason, I felt like putting down my thoughts.
The lady I work with has cerebral palsy. She is not mentally handicapped. Slightly crazy, but hey, that's why we get along so well!
Cerebral palsy is defined as: a disability resulting from damage to the brain before, during, or shortly after birth and outwardly manifested by muscular incoordination and speech disturbances.
That's all it is. She has trouble with moving around, and she cannot speak clearly, the way you or I could. Because she is in a wheel chair, and talks funny, people assume she is deficient, and insist on talking to her like she is 3 years old. She gets annoyed at this, and so do I. People are people. You treat them like people. No one should be treated any different than anyone else, no matter of size, shape, color, or mental capabilities. That has always been my stand point, and it is not likely to change in this lifetime. Or any other lifetime.
One of my mom's sisters is mentally handicapped. She would still come camping with us every year, came to every family event, and in general, was just one of the family. She still is. We kids liked her because she never yelled at us, was willing to sit and color with us, and had no qualms about sitting down to watch a Disney movie. Preferably Cinderella - it's her favorite. No one in my entire extended family ever treated her any different than anyone else. We don't talk to her like she is a little kid. We don't make decisions for her. She is her own person and can make choices for herself. She has far more intelligence than people give her credit for, and understands everything you say. There is no need to treat her any different, and we would never dream of it.
It could be that I am more comfortable with handicapped people because I grew up around it, and it was never seen as anything different. I don't know. I would like to think that I am just a rational, thoughtful person, and treat everyone as an equal. It just makes me very annoyed when other people are not the same. I suppose I should be more forgiving, not everyone grew up as I did. Not everyone has been taught the same values and morals. But at the same time, common sense says, no shouts: PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE. Treat them as such. There is no need to be condescending or degrading. No need for snide comments, askew glances, and cruel snickers. Totally unecessary. It doesn't matter if someone is a little different. It doesn't matter is someone is a lot different. We have all been created unique, and we should view that as a wonderful thing! Our differences teach others as well. I really don't understand how that can be viewed as a bad thing.
Anyway, I guess point I am trying to make is that I love it when people automatically treat her as normal. We went to a housewarming party last weekend, because I was working with her. Everyone there was completely awesome. And she has a better time as well, because she does not feel self-concious in any way. We had a splendid time. Really quite swell! (A little overboard with the ancient vernacular. Sorry.)
Love is what makes the difference I think. Spread love. Love will spread acceptance. Acceptance will spread tolerance. Tolerance will spread love. Endless cycle of love. Sounds good, doesn't it?
The lady I work with has cerebral palsy. She is not mentally handicapped. Slightly crazy, but hey, that's why we get along so well!
Cerebral palsy is defined as: a disability resulting from damage to the brain before, during, or shortly after birth and outwardly manifested by muscular incoordination and speech disturbances.
That's all it is. She has trouble with moving around, and she cannot speak clearly, the way you or I could. Because she is in a wheel chair, and talks funny, people assume she is deficient, and insist on talking to her like she is 3 years old. She gets annoyed at this, and so do I. People are people. You treat them like people. No one should be treated any different than anyone else, no matter of size, shape, color, or mental capabilities. That has always been my stand point, and it is not likely to change in this lifetime. Or any other lifetime.
One of my mom's sisters is mentally handicapped. She would still come camping with us every year, came to every family event, and in general, was just one of the family. She still is. We kids liked her because she never yelled at us, was willing to sit and color with us, and had no qualms about sitting down to watch a Disney movie. Preferably Cinderella - it's her favorite. No one in my entire extended family ever treated her any different than anyone else. We don't talk to her like she is a little kid. We don't make decisions for her. She is her own person and can make choices for herself. She has far more intelligence than people give her credit for, and understands everything you say. There is no need to treat her any different, and we would never dream of it.
It could be that I am more comfortable with handicapped people because I grew up around it, and it was never seen as anything different. I don't know. I would like to think that I am just a rational, thoughtful person, and treat everyone as an equal. It just makes me very annoyed when other people are not the same. I suppose I should be more forgiving, not everyone grew up as I did. Not everyone has been taught the same values and morals. But at the same time, common sense says, no shouts: PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE. Treat them as such. There is no need to be condescending or degrading. No need for snide comments, askew glances, and cruel snickers. Totally unecessary. It doesn't matter if someone is a little different. It doesn't matter is someone is a lot different. We have all been created unique, and we should view that as a wonderful thing! Our differences teach others as well. I really don't understand how that can be viewed as a bad thing.
Anyway, I guess point I am trying to make is that I love it when people automatically treat her as normal. We went to a housewarming party last weekend, because I was working with her. Everyone there was completely awesome. And she has a better time as well, because she does not feel self-concious in any way. We had a splendid time. Really quite swell! (A little overboard with the ancient vernacular. Sorry.)
Love is what makes the difference I think. Spread love. Love will spread acceptance. Acceptance will spread tolerance. Tolerance will spread love. Endless cycle of love. Sounds good, doesn't it?
posted by Laura @ 10:44 AM
6 Comments:
At July 13, 2006 1:00 PM,
S* said…
In order to spread love, I think we need to spread information. Humans by nature fear what they don't understand, what is not familiar, or what they fear they can become (does CP rub off?!). To play devil's advocate, it's also difficult to determine just by looking at a disabled person, what their affliction is. Do you offend someone with CP, who has all their mental faculties about them, by speaking slowly, or do you completely overwhelm someone who doesn't have their full capacity, by speaking too fast and soft?
My mom has MS and at some points you couldn't tell anything was wrong with her, other times she's wheelchair bound and can't speak. Of course people can be stupid and it's frustrating, but I learned that patience and sharing information is extremely important.
And there's no excuse for being condescending or poking fun...and by God, don't you dare that a handicapped parking space if you're not handicapped...or else you'll feel my wrath!
(Sorry for the long comment. You hit a nerve!)
At July 13, 2006 2:07 PM,
Laura said…
It's okay. I totally understand. I agree that we need to spread information. But there is plenty of information available for people, and they don't care to use it. That is the part that bothers me.
To address the "Devil's Advocate": I have worked with/been around handicapped people all my life, and none of them have ever responded well to being spoken to like a child, no matter if they were high functioning or low functioning. I always make sure I speak clearly, and maybe a little slower, until I know the extent of a person's capabilities, but at no point do I treat them like a 3 year old, or as if they can't understand what I am saying. I have actually found that of a lot of people. It's the ones that act as though they (handicapped people) are totally stupid, and need to be treated like children that bother me. Not the ones that are trying their best.
I used to do the parking space thing, but have not for a long time, and never will again! I know how it is now! And I have no patience either for the people who are poking fun. Not funny!
I don't mind the long comment s*, I know how you feel about hitting the nerve. This whole issue was sitting on mine.
P.S. Have you ever seen the movie The Ringer? If you haven't, you need to! It is awesome! And very honest in it's depiction. Even promoted by the organizers of the Special Olympics.
At July 13, 2006 9:51 PM,
life's a dream said…
Hey Laura, I love it. Why do we treat people differently because they look, or talk, or act, or think a bit differently? have you ever seen the movie saved? I like it. there is a line that says "if god wanted us all to be the same, why did he make us so different?" i think we should stand up and celebrate our differences. that is, after all, what makes us, us.
At July 13, 2006 9:51 PM,
life's a dream said…
Hey Laura, I love it. Why do we treat people differently because they look, or talk, or act, or think a bit differently? have you ever seen the movie saved? I like it. there is a line that says "if god wanted us all to be the same, why did he make us so different?" i think we should stand up and celebrate our differences. that is, after all, what makes us, us.
At July 18, 2006 6:15 PM,
Anthony said…
We can only educate others by being the change we wish to see in the world. We must lead by example. After all, it's the only way others will follow.
I hope all is well with you Laura. I especially hope your multiple jobs are treating you well, too.
;)
At July 22, 2006 5:11 PM,
Leila said…
it's awful, but inevitable. most people have good intentions though...or id like to think they do.
remember that not every one is well rehearsed in all social situations. you cant blame them for their ignorance, or lack of experince. not if they have good intentions.
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