What a Joke!!

So I get this post card in the mail today......from.....oh......wait for it........my former employer!

The shit hole that drained away all my sanity and 18 months of my life! So, word for word, here is the post card, and (my thoughts on the wonderful thing!)

Dear Laura,

How's everything been going with you? (I'm fabulous! I don't work for you anymore, how could I be any better?) We've never been better over here at C* (of course you are better, you can't go anywhere but up when you are the bottom of the barrel!) but we have recognized that we couldn't have done it without people like you (Damn rights! All the little peons that you, well pee-on). I'm sure you recall all the great perks we had to offer, such as: tuition reimbursement (and if you are not a full-time student, well, you are screwed, sorry), company paid Alberta Health Care premiums (wow!), company paid benefits (medical, dental, and vision) (okay, those were pretty good), diversity, opportunity for advancement and paid training (not to mention the creepy bosses who hit on you, the screaming and yelling, the rudeness of both staff and customers... lets see, what did I leave out? Oh, the almost fanatical control you tried to keep over our lives? Yeah great perks! Thanks guys).

But then we asked ourselves, how can we make it even better? (pretty much anyway you can think of would make it better than it was...) So here's what we did. We removed the wage cap, increased starting wages, insituted pay for experience, increased flexible shifts, started part-time training, increased part-time hours and now offer student opportunities. (And do I doubt that these so-called extra perks will have 15 million limitations and provisos to them? Not at all!)

We've never forgotten you and the great contribution you made to our team. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Pretty much everyone I knew no longer works for you! I am convinced that you pulled my name off a computer database.) We've got great positions available in customer care and internet support (I'm sure you do. Under the boss? On top of him? That creepy, disgusting old dirty bastard!). It sure would be fantastic to work with you again Laura, so give us a call. (Once again, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm sure you want to be plagued by persistent sarcasm and apathy. These are traits naturally brought on by walking through your doors.)

All the best to you (Thanks! *Gives the finger* And this to you.)

*C Management Team (management? That's a bit of a stretch. Management implied there was some sort of order to the place.)

And then, at the very bottom, * All applications are subject to rehire guidelines (which are ridiculously retarded anyways)

So the summary of this lovely little story? Laura will not be going back to work for evil company *C anytime soon. I am rather attached to my soul. I'd like to keep it, you soul-sucking evil corporate vampires! (I guess I still feel a little strongly about the place....*sigh*). Let go of the anger Laura. Let go of the anger Laura. Let go of the anger Laura. (I think if I repeat it often enough it might work!)