ARG!

My head is stuffed.

Feels like cotton, or maybe rocks.

And it hurts to breathe,

like my cat sat on my chest and won't move.

I hate feeling like this.

It sucks. I hate it.

Could be worse, could have to stay home in bed.

Wait, that'd be better!

I would not be losing things.

Pens, pencils, papers, my mind!

I want to go home.

Crawl in bed.

Be dead to the world for at least another 4 hours.

And then try again in the morning.

Maybe.

aMaZiNg

I have a new nephew, and I get to see him tomorrow. I am soo excited to see him. My mom sent me pictures, and he is a dolly. I can't wait. It just amazes me. This miracle of life. All it takes is one moment, and then a new person is in progress. Amazing! All you have to do is wait, and there he or she is. I can't beleive it. It really is just amazing.

LoVe

Love....
We all need more love.
More love from our friends,
more love from our families,
more love from strangers,
more love from coworkers,
more love from everyone,
And especially....
We need more love for ourselves.

You Are...

You are...

You are my friend.

A confident when needed.

Someone I trust and can turn to,

when I need help or just an opinion.

You are my hero!

Someone who stands up for herself,

and loves you for who you are

No matter what!

You are my inspiration.

You make me want to be a better friend.

Everything about you is AWESOME!

You are YOU, and I love you for it!!!

I wrote this for you

hayley! Its not very good,

and I could never put exactly how I feel about you and me

and our friendship into words, but this is part of it.

You are... LOVED

Uncertain?

I have decided to try a new technique.
There are a lot of times when I am uncertain about what to do, or if I should do something, or say something. And I don't know what to do.
Think of the smartest person you know. Then ask them the question. What would they tell you? I bet they would be honest with you, tell you what they think, and then leave the decision up to you.
Thats the way I should be looking at things. That way, even though I am the only one there, I will still have the opinion of someone I love and trust. And I will know what to do.
Thats not to say it will always be easy, but then you know you have thought it through first. Sometimes thats all it takes. I think a lot of the time I am uncertain about what to do, because I have not really thought about it. I am avoiding the subject. Even with myself. So then you are forced to think about it, and make a decision.
So thats what I am going to do.

Elections

So this Federal election is coming up quick. I hate voting, there is never anyone good to vote for. It is always, who is less worse? There are nothing but assholes running the country, and unless I go into politics, its not going to change. And, lets face it, I could not even handle the politics at Convergys, so I would not make it in a larger scale. I am so glad I don't work there anymore, and I feel sorry for those who do. So anyways, those are my thoughts for the day. Hopefully no more Liberal bastards. Although their replacements may not be much better.

BaNg by EvE6

The underworld element beckoned in a dream to

Find a sidekick pronto I should

Think Thelma not Daria

So I search hard and near and far for

Someone the description called for

Thought seldom not Daria

Found her in a suburban wasteland

Swaddling clothed and caked in beach sand

At first sight thought that I might

turn and Run out of fear and intrigue

I stood numb kind of military

I'd found her I'd keep her

Safe and sound

Don't make a sound

Look up at the sky shit's going down

I heard a bang and stars collided

Her skin drew me in just like a magnet

Little girl my little world is yours

I took a one way highway headed

West heaven bound

Never even thought once to turn round

Real life plays tricks on the brain

Pointed fingers were left in the dust and

The ones who doubted rusted

We're out of here like Vladimir

Now I'm looking at a picture where I'm right beside you

Eyes shine with a light that binds you

To this fool with Super Glue

From all the way across the nation

You came with just your name and

Your suitcase

I'll keep you

Safe and sound

Don't make a sound

Look up at the sky shit's going down

I heard a bang and stars collided

Her skin drew me in just like a magnet

Little girl my little world is yours

Big bang little girl run away with me

And be my Thelma & Louise

Brush that sand off your ask

Your questions later love me long time

Song was stuck in my head, and really, lets face it, I love it. Wanted to let you all know how my head was singing.

Well this is my life!

So I have had an epiphany. I am going to write a book. Just for fun. Well, maybe not for fun, but I am going to do it anyway. I already started researching it, and I made an outline. I guess that means I have to follow it through right? Well, no one can make me do anything I don't want to do, so screw everybody else. Well, maybe not literally, that would be hours spent lying on my back with my legs in the air, and truthfully, lets be honest, I am the last person on earth to be doing that. Now that you have that lovely picture i nyour heads.... sorry about that. Sometimes I wish there was someone, I mean, we all get lonely, and when you have no friends to hang out with anymore (I love you guys, and miss you a lot!) then you get kinda bored sometimes. Not that I don't love my aunt, but I see her all day at work, so then to spend all the rest of my time with her would be too much I think. Occasionally is fine, just not all the time. Its the times when I am at home by myself (well, now with Lucky) that I wish I could just go to the bar, pick someone up, and take them home with me. But see, if I did that, I would never be able to live with myself. Either that, or I am afraid I would like it, and keep doing it. One or the other. Or maybe both, which would be even worse. Like I need lower self esteem. I never think of myself the way other people see me. When I look in the mirror, I see a not too bad looking girl, with big tits, and too much extra around the middle. Apparently thats not what other people see, but I cant help it. Thats what I have always seen, and the image just wont go away. Thats the other thing I am afraid of. Once my clothes are off, the other person is going to take off, because they dont like what they see. I cant stand the idea of being hurt like that. So I just dont go there. Is that a bad thing? I dont care if it is. I just cant make myself get there. Sarah says guys look at me all the time, and because I dont notice them, they leave. I want to beleive her, but thats not how I see myself, so I have a hard time with it. I guess we are all a little f***ed up on the inside, even if we dont let people see it. yay and hooray, my self pity rant is done for the day. I will not trouble you anymore.

Blogging

So, this is blogging. I have never done it before, but people talk about it all the time, and I thought it might be something to try out. I guess it is something like keeping a journal, only it is online. So this could be cool. And I usually have free time at work, so its not like I wont be able to keep up with it. So, here is my first blog, and we shall see how it goes!