Fewf!

My little sister used to say that when she could not pronounce her words properly. :)

It means *huge sigh of relief*.

I am all moved. Boxes are not all unpacked, car is still not working (had to stop 6 times on a 4 hour drive to fill up the antifreeze) but all my stuff is here. I have a bed set up, and my MY bedding is on it, and for now, that is all I need.

I will post again when I know more of what is going on, and my legs don't hurt as much from running up and down 90 flights of stairs.

But it is worth the peace.

Peace!

Crazy

Life is crazy. It really is.

I had a great weekend with my handicapped lady. Last one, *sniff sniff*. We went out for supper both nights, caught a movie, and in general, just had a blast! I will miss working with her.

A friend of mine seems to have found herself a man. He is younger than her, and I'm not sure that's a good thing, but he seems to be the kind that is mature for his age, and has his head on straight. He is going to school to become a mechanic, works a lot, and he is really really nice. He treats her great, and he is wonderful to her friends (incl me! her last boyfriend hated me, and made fun of my size all the time. So glad he is not like that.) So all in all, her life is going well.

I have finally managed to get a small stockpile of boxes, and a very nice young man from the grocery store has promised to put some aside for me. Which is great. Now all I have to do is actually pack the boxes.

I think my aforementioned friend has said something to my room mate about the ass he has been, and he has been better so far. No one has said anything to me, but so far, seems to be going much better. He started a new job too, so maybe that helped.

I am kind of tired. I think I am getting a cold. Damn summer colds! Which really sucks, because this is the worst possible time for me to get sick. But hey, we all have this problem right? Hopefully lots of liquids, and sleep will solve the problem. (Only thing is how am I supposed to sleep when I am packing? Should have started earlier I guess. That's what I get for procrastinating!)

Last but not least, I have to quit smoking. I am kind of a casual smoker anyway, but my parents don't know. And, yes, I am old enough to make decisions for myself, and they will be upset but get over it. But my mom and dad have always been staunch non-smokers. They drilled it into our heads that we should never smoke. And I hate to disappoint them. I have shattered many of their illusions of perfect children (my brother more than I, but hey, someone had to start it) and I just hate the fact that they would feel inadequate as parents because I am an idiot.

So there you have it folks. Life is crazy.

But, as my good friend Antoine keeps repeating :) Everything is temporary.

Damn rights.

HOLY SHIT!!

So here I am again, finally. With a real update I promise!

Life is shitty. SHITTY! For the moment anyway.

Want to know why?

1. My room mate is drunk all the time, and has become verbally abusive. Scary. And when I say verbally abusive, I mean, screaming at me for who knows what. He spills, and it is my fault. He is crazy pissed off about everything, and calls me every name under the sun. The one I can't stand the most especially. Because he knows I can't stand it. And he is bad mouthing me to everyone he knows, and I have not done anything to him! I don't know what his problem is! Nothing I would ever normally put up with, but it is only 2 more weeks, and I have to work this weekend anyway, so I won't be home. But I have no where to go, because I don't fucking know anybody, so I either have to leave the house, and drive aimlessly, which see below, really doesn't work, or I hide in my room and read a book.

2. I have no money to buy groceries, and I don't want to buy groceries, because then I would have to move them all. But it sucks having nothing but old noodles and frozen juice to eat. Maybe a few granola bars here and there. That's it. I may have to cave in and go buy some frozen dinners. They are only $1 at the discount store.

3. My car, my baby, my bucket, is fucked. Not worth fixing. Leaks radiator coolant out of the head gaskets, leaks major oil, back shocks are shot, winshield wiper motor is toast, needs new tires, the starter is going (AGAIN!) and I think that's about it that they told me about. If I get it fixed, just the basics, it will be $600-$800. And it will be dead again before winter. Not worth the money. But it is an old car, 1985, Toyota (good that it lasted this long!) and it has 376,000 kms on it. (That's 233,000 miles or something like that for all those who use miles.) It is my baby. It has taken me everywhere, and although it has broken down before, it has never left me completely stranded in the middle of nowhere. But the point is that it is fucked. And I can't afford a replacement!

4. I am moving again! That means going through all of my stuff, packing it up, and writing down what is where. I have run out of boxes already, and each time I go to the grocery store to get more, someone has beat me to the good boxes. And I am not moving fucking 60 lb boxes. Not a chance in hell. I would rather move 15 million little boxes, but then what's the point? Might as well just start throwing shit in garbage bags. But I have to think about storage too, because most of this stuff is not getting unpacked, because I have to move again in January. ARG!!!!!

5. The people upstairs in our half of the duplex are either fighting or fucking all night every night! Normally I can sleep through anything, but with all the added stress in my life right now, it is not going well. I have taken to taking some nyquil before I go to bed, just to help me sleep, and it is never a good sleep. And it sucks. Because I have to try really hard to be nice during the day.

6. I am training a new girl at work. She is catching on really fast, and I am running out of things to teach her. We have been cleaning like crazy, and I am going out of my mind with boredom. Sounds like a good thing right? No. She is going for an interview tomorrow. At the college. She has been trying to get this job for 5 years, and they decide to interview her now. It pays better, and it is what she was doing at a different college before, so I don't blame her for going, but it means that the office might be left without a secretary. I know it is not my fault, and I have no control over it, but it makes me sick to think that no one will be here to do what I do. Or someone who has no freaking clue. Either one can lose clients and earn a business a bad name. And it puts way too much stress on my aunt. I know she is sick thinking about it.

7. I think the worst thing right now is that one of my nephews is sick. The youngest one. There is a picture of him in my January blog. He is such a sweet little boy. 8 months old, and always smiling. But he has a really bad lung infection, and they think it is RSV and asthma. He is on ventalin, and has to wear this breathing machine that he really hates, and he cries all the time, and he is so sick, and there is nothing I can do but pray. He is getting a little better, but my sister is so worried, she is making herself sick, and my mom is the same. It is so hard to not be able to be there for them for this. To babysit my other nephew to give her a break or whatever. Can't do anything.

Most of this stuff is minor. Things I could handle if it was the only one. One problem at a time please!!!!! I can't handle all this shit. I want to go to a grocery store, raid their ice cream stash, go home, lock all the doors, turn on some really loud music and eat myself to sleep, and not have to wake up until I am in the clear again.

I sort of left something else out too. Remember the guy who said he could not date me because I was too fat for him? He is fucking with my head now. He apologized for what he said (I don't believe him) and keeps phoning me. Asking me to do stuff. Coffee, movie, whatever. I keep saying no, because I am moving anyway, and I have too much other stress to deal with. I don't need some asshole who just wants some pussy. Which he would never get anyway! I don't need a fuck buddy. I need someone who actually likes me and wants to be with me, and is not just looking for sex. He should know by now that I am not that kind of girl!

But holy shit! It's just too much to take all at once. If I was the suicidal kind, and didn't have so much to live for, I think I would kill myself. I hate living like this. And I keep telling myself. Only 2 more weeks. Only 2 more weeks. Only 2 more weeks. But it is 2 weeks of HELL. Total and complete HELL. I wish there was something I could do about all this. But I don't think there is. I just have to suffer with it. But I really don't want to. I just want it all to be over.

Life is busy

Thought I would let you all know that life is insane. I have no more weekends off 'til I move, work work work, and I am training a new girl for my job, so it's pretty hectic. Not ignoring you! I promise, I will update when I have some time guys.

:) Laura

Powers of Persuasion

I love it when things go my way! Well, who doesn't, really?

I called the student services centre at the college today, to speak with a student advisor. I had, of course, previously spoken to one, and she set me up for the math test I had to take.

The results of said math test were, well, for lack of a better word, ambiguous. She said that I had done fairly well on the test, well within the expected range. Sounds good right? Apparently, after most people have been out of school for a while, they have to repeat whatever level of math they had taken last. So in all reality, the news was not so good.

They wanted me to take:

Grade 11 Math - Easy

Grade 11 Math - Hard

Grade 12 Math - Hard

So I said, if I have to do 3 bloody math courses, I'm going to do:

Grade 10 Math - Hard

Grade 11 Math - Hard

Grade 12 Math - Hard

Not that I really wanted to redo any of it. The courses I really need are Math 11 & 12 Hard, and Chemistry 11 & 12. That's it. That's all. Why should I have to take 3 math courses? I took Math 10 Hard in grade 10. I took Math 11 easy in grade 12. Both of which are the prerequisites of Math 11 Hard. Why should I have to do any of it over? I already did it.

So like I said, I called and talked to a student advisor this morning. A different one than previously (apparently they both suffer from the stupidity gene...)

Me: "Hi, I came in and took the CAT testing, and I spoke to a student advisor, and I'm really not happy with the plan that she came up with, and I would like to discuss my options."

Her: "Okay, (gets my info...) Laura, we can see what we can do."

Me: explains the whole "I've already done this, and I shouldn't have to do it over concept..."

Her: "Well, you took the testing, and it recommended this course of action. Not only that, but an advisor has to sign off on any upgrading plan, so while it is your education, we do have a say."

Me: "I have a cousin who is a math/science major, he is a certified teacher, and he is willing to tutor me when I need help. Not only that, but I am not stupid. I am not upgrading because I was too dumb to take these courses in High School. I am a good student. I like school, and I learn well. Not only that, but this is something I had to do so that I can fulfill a lifelong dream. I am not going to give up, and not learn from this. Besides, if I fail, I will be the one paying for the course again, and redoing it, and that won't hurt the college any. I don't understand why you are making this harder than it has to be."

Her: "Oh, you are paying for this yourself?"

Me: "Yes. As I explained to the previous student advisor. It should be there in my file."

Her: "Oh yes, I see it here. Well, since you are self-funded, you have a few more options, because a signed action plan is not required for government funding. You can certainly register for the courses you like. Just send back your acceptance letter, with a letter about our conversation today, I will note it in your file as well, (fingers clacking on keys) and you will be all set."

Me: "Thank you."

So apparently, it is only if the government is paying for your education that you need someone's signature (why I do not understand, it is not like we are in kindergarten anymore, good grief, it is an ADULT program. Yikes!) to proceed in the program. My though is that they are squeezing every last cent they can get, so they make people take courses they do not need. I am not being given money by the government. This is all coming out of my pocket. Stop trying to rip me off!

Maybe that's all colleges and universities do. Rip people off.

Although I think my previous college experience was worth every penny in a personal sense. Maybe in the actual education department it was not, but I still think is was worth it.

And I'm sure this will be too. Besides, everything is so much more fun to me when I have to pick a fight to get what I want. :) Demented, I know!

August

August has always been my favorite month of the year. So many reasons, and yet, none of them fully describe how I feel.

I love the heat and the sunshine. For my entire life, I have always preffered being too hot over too cold. You are pretty much guaranteed of that in August. Something about it just does something to me. I am happier, more focused, and love everything infinitely more in August. Not only that, the heat makes me think of hot, sweaty, passionate activity. Much to my regret, I am single. Some guy could be very happy right about now...

Of course, what girl doesn't like her birthday and getting presents, I ask? My birthday is this month. In less than a week actually. August 7th. I will be a whopping 22 years old. Goodness, I can't believe it. Seems as though I just turned 18. I really thought I would be somewhere important in life by now. Although I have come to realise that I kind of am. No matter where I am, or what I am doing, it is an important part of my life. So I suppose that is a good thing. Of course, no matter what the year, I just like birthdays. Once, when I turned 7 or 8, I got a personalized snoopy card from my cousin, and it touched me so much, I have never forgotten, and actually still have it in a box somewhere. It says something along the lines of: "So you are turning x, eh Laura? But it's not just another birthday. Think of it as the day the world was graced with the presence of Laura Dxxx." I love it.

Why else do I like summer, particulary the end of summer? Oh, let's see. Camping, time off, almost back to school, nice tans, guys without shirts, parties around bonfires, oh the list goes on. But the most important 2 are at the top. I could go on forever, but I will resist. Summer is the time of my life that I feel the most alive.