Oh Dear Me

I thought I was being so good. I had not been to any fast food joints in a couple of weeks. This morning, I had no milk left, therefore, no cereal, and I could not be late for work. Rather than searching fruitlessly through my house for something edible, I broke down and went to Mickey-D's for breaky. I always get the Breakfast Burritos, somehow my brain thinks they are healthier than anything else there, but in truth, I really doubt it. Anyway, I pull up to the window, hand the guy my debit card, and he starts to ask if I want my debit reciept. Then he looks up, recognizes me, and says he remembers that I never take it. (I don't.)

Oh d-d-d-dear. It's pretty sad when the people at McDonalds recognize you. (I suppose I should clarify that I don't know this guy from anywhere else. I would remember if I did. He is cute. A little too young maybe, but cute nonetheless.) I thought I was doing so good! No fast food in quite a while.

I suppose, in my defense, that I was there every day for about 3 weeks in February, because I was lazy, and for some reason, just did not give a shit that it was fast food. But still. Then he has a pretty good memory.

Is it just me? Or do you think it is sad when the peeps at McDs know you?

Oh dear.

Hooray for Boobies!

Okay, okay, I know it's a bit of a strange title, but there is an explanation, I promise.

As you already know from the last post, I got another job. I started said job last night. There is a dress code. Red collared shirt and khaki pants. I, of course, had no such type of clothing in my wardrobe, so over the weekend I took advantage of Value Village and the wonders of bargain hunting, and outfitted myself.

So yesterday was my first shift at the movie rental store, and I showed up in really soft faux-suede pants (khaki does not even begin to describe these pants, they are more of a rich camel-type color, and they are gorgeous!!) and a red, embroidered, short sleeved blouse. I felt kind of weird, because I have not had to wear a uniform or specific dress code for years, but somehow still felt like I was looking pretty nice. I need to fix a button, so it was open a little farther than it would be normally, but not too much cleavage was showing, only a tiny bit if I bent over, so I was not worried.

Things were going well, I was learning away, and the other girl I was working with was very friendly. A couple of really cute guys came in, and asked where they could find the X-box games. I showed them where they were, and went back to filing away the returned movies. A few of them happened to be on the other side of the X-box games. (And that actually was not on purpose!) I overheard a conversation between the 2 hotties, one of whom was blonde, and somewhat short and smallish (hot boy#1), and the other was dark, tall, and very football player-type strong shaped (hot boy#2).

(Hot boy#2) "She was nice, hey?"
(Hot boy#1) "She was kinda fat though, didn't you see?"
Oooh! Jerk!
(Hot boy#2) "Not so much. Could be worse. I thought she was kinda hot. Nice ass."
What? You think I have a nice ass? I think I have a fat ass. But THANKYOU!!!
(Hot boy#1) "You ever fucked a fat chick?"
Whoah! Where is this conversation going? Maybe I should move. I didn't.
(Hot boy#2) "No, but I would. I've heard they are more fun."
(Hot boy#1) "They can be. So long as you don't mind a few rolls. But the tits are great."
Hmm. I should really stop listening. What if they see me.
(Hot boy#2) "I did not look. Man. I should have, hers were probably nice."

So at this point, I should have been offended and disgusted that these guys were standing here, discussing women (and me!) as pieces of meat. Strangly (or not so much so) I was not at all. I was, in a way, flattered. The tall dark haired one had readily admitted that he thought I was nice and hot. With a nice ass. I don't think I have ever heard those words before. *Swoon*

I took off back to my computer so they would not know that I had heard. They chose their game and took it to the checkout counter. I was watching the other girl put them through, so that I could learn (and of course get another good look at Hot boy #2, who, upon second look, was extremely good looking, and should have been hot boy#1 because he was by far the hottest of the two).

I smiled at him, he smiled back, and, knowing I was looking at him, totally checked out my rack! And looked back at me. And smiled bigger. I could almost see the dirty thoughts in his head. And felt the echos in mine. He winked. I nearly fainted.

As they walked out the door, my co-worker said "Come back soon."

Hottie McHotBoy hollered back, with another wink and a decidedly bad-boy glint in his eye, "Don't worry, we will!"

I swear to you, the only thought in my head as they left was....

Hooray for Boobies!

2 + 1 = Exhaustion...Also known as Fake it 'til you Make it.

So today is Friday. Most people would be ecstatic. Some time off, laze around, do some errands, whatever. Not me. No, what does Laura do with her weekends? She works. (Well, I guess I took off for southern AB to see my family last weekend, but hell, 4 hours of driving each way is work.) Don't get me wrong, I need my weekend job, so I can pay off bills and go back to school, but still. I'm tired. All I want to do is go see X-men 3 tonight, and curl up in bed early, and sleep until 2 p.m. tomorrow.

So I'm tired already with 2 jobs, and what did I do last night? I got myself another one. Yes, that's right, Yours Truly now has a third job. I will be the newest employee at a local video rental store. Do I really want to work there? No. Will I still do my best and make everyone think I do? Yes. I'm good at faking like that. Fake it 'til you make it.

I think that will be my new motto. Fake being awake until you are. Fake being pleasant to everyone, until the grouchiness subsides. Fake loving working every single minute of my day, until it is at least a numb spot instead of wishing I was home at sleep.

So now, as of Monday, I will be working 8:30-5:00 at my regular job, 5:05ish-11:00 at my second job, and still be up at 6:30 for the gym every morning. Not to mention the 24 hour care weekends once or twice a month. Am I going to want to die? Hell yes. Am I going to do it anyway? Hell yes.

Hopefully I will be too busy to eat. Maybe I will lose some weight. As long as I keep going to the gym I will be fine. No quitting for me. Fake loving getting up at an un-godly hour every day. (Yes 6:30 is un-godly. We are talking about a girl who would gladly sleep until 11 everyday if she could get away with it.)

*Sigh* I'm doing it all to myself. But I will fake loving it...I will fake it 'til I make it.

Sometimes I hate my life....

I feel like shit today. I think I'm a bitch.

Last night, I got home from work, and the first thing I did was check to make sure that my roomie (not so smart cousin Bill) was not home. And was disgusted at how pleased I was when I discovered he was not. I was completely revolted when I noticed that he had made a huge mess before he left for work. So I cleaned it all up as I fumed. (I have somehow become a neat freak, which scares me, as it goes against my entire life's pattern.) I even did the unthinkable. I went into his room to check for dishes. Normally, I would find that a huge invasion of privacy, but for some reason, I felt justified in doing so last night. Then I baked banana bread, and swore at it when it would not come out of the pan.

I started a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Then NSSC Bill comes home. And turns off the timer on the microwave, just so he can warm up his effing chilli. Which stank worse than any kind of alcohol induced vomit I have ever been around. Made me want to bash his head in. At least rub his face in it. So he makes a huge mess all over the kitchen I have JUST cleaned, and he has the audacity to stand there and laugh about it! Oh, man, was I ever steamed. To top it all off, the cookies that were in the oven burnt. So the smoke detector goes off. GOSH I hate that sound. I think that must be the theme song for hell. Either that or an alarm clock beep. One of the two. Anyway.

So after I scrape all the burnt cookies into the garbage, totally clean the kitchen AGAIN, and take out the garbage, I am ready to relax for a little while before I take off to bed. I grab the new-to-me movie from my garage sale bargain bag from this past weekend, and go to pop it in MY vcr. Only to hear

What are you doing?

Well, I am going to watch The Rock. You know, Sean Connery, Nicholas Cage, take over of Alcatraz? I got it for a dollar and...

(abruptly cuts me off) You can't. I have a show to watch. (Grabs remote and starts flicking channels.)

I just about lost it. Instead, I bit my tongue, went to the bathroom, washed my face, and tried to calm down. Strolled back into the kitchen, finished putting everything away, and then said,

You know, you have a tv in your room. I can help you hook it up.

Why? That's stupid. I like this one better.

(AAARRRGGG!! Maybe because it is mine, and I want to use it. And because I am sick of you being retarded? But I did not say that out loud.) I'm sorry, maybe I should move it into my bedroom then. I think it might be better for me. Then I don't have to argue with you about it.

What do you mean? You can't just do that!

Watch me.

Needless to say, I got my way. And there will be a talk coming very soon about how things are going to go or he is going to go. My aunt, his mom, whom I love very much might hate me forever, but I will not live like this. It is my stuff, in our house, and he is free to use it, but not wreck it or act like he owns it. Not a chance!

So I think I am a bitch. It should not bother me. But it does.

Why?

I don't normally post more than once in a day, but today I feel the need to say this.

I have a friend. Well, she is more of an aquaintance than a friend. A friend of a friend you might say. I don't see her very often, but when I do, I'm glad I don't see her more often.

Here's the down-low on her. She is negative about everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything!! For example:

I'm going back to school. ~~~ Oh, you should wait until you have more money.
I got this awesome new skirt. ~~~ You will probably shrink it right away.
I can't afford to go out for dinner. ~~~ You probably spent your whole check right away.
I'm saving money. ~~~ Yeah, until next week when you want something.
I like my car. ~~~ It's a piece of shit, and is gonna die soon.

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! I hate it! I don't even know her that well, and she never has anything good to say. She does not know me well enough to make these judgements about me, nevermind say it out loud. She is rude, obnoxious, thinks she knows everything and everyone, and she gets on my nerves.

The worst part about it, is that she can be so nice. She is a wonderful friend to my friend, and she has a wonderful heart. I feel bad that I don't really like her, but I make my tongue bleed everytime I am around her. I bite it so often, I'm suprised there is anything left of it.

Why do some people have to be so negative about everything? There are wonderful things in this life, and having faith in people can inspire them to even bigger and better things! How can that possibly be bad? What good are you if you refuse to have a good thought about your friends, and their friends?

I am, in general, a very positive person. I like people, I like being around people, and I am easy to get along with. I don't know if this person reads my blog, or if she will know who she is if she reads this post, but I feel the need to say this. Be positive. It makes a world of difference.

I'm so Sorry

So on Friday, I headed down south to see my family. I left the office a little early, hoping to get a head start on all the holiday traffic.

I was about 45 mins to an hour into my drive, window down, music up, everything just flowing, when I had to abrubtly slam on the brakes. Traffic was backed up in front of me for at least a few kilometres.

So I sat, engine idling, music still cranked, me fuming, and wished I had a smoke. My phone was out of service, so I could not even phone someone and chat to pass the time. I pulled a book out of my back pack, and spent my time reading a page, glancing up, moving my car ahead a foot, and then repeating the cycle. Of course, added into the equation was me grumbling, complaining, and in general, thinking bad thoughts about the idiot somewhere in front of me that was causing all this mess. Construction? Checkpoint? What the heck is going on?

And then, as I am diverted off the hiway for a detour, I see the van. What is left of it, that is. A green minivan. The top of the van was totally crushed, a carseat barely visible through the gaping hole that had once been a side door. The trailer it was pulling had left peices of itself all over the road. I turned off my radio. The gentleman setting out the pylons for the detour comments, "They figure the trailer was too heavy for the van. Rolled about eight times or so. Oh, ma'am you can go now, have a good weekend. Sorry for the delay."

I drove away silently, feeling ashamed to the depths of my bones. Oh, God, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I didn't really mean those things I was thinking. I hope those people are okay. I'm so sorry. Please help me to be cautious in my driving. Help me to be patient and arrive safely. Be with the family that was hoping for a wonderful holiday weekend. I'm so sorry God. Help me to appreciate my family and my holiday weekend.

Oh God, I'm so sorry about the green van.

Long Weekend? Not long enough....

So I'm off for the weekend. Off to see my family and friends. I get to hang out with my sisters, my nephews, and hopefully get a tan. Am I excited? You bet I am! 4 hour drive, yeah sure, but it's worth it. I can't wait. 3 days off work instead of 2. Which means I will not be exhausted when I get home. Relax. That is my aim for the weekend.

I hope you all have a good weekend as well. TTFN. Until Tuesday peoples. Yes!

Top 5's

Top 5 things I love

1. Friends who you can call at 3 a.m. and they won't hang up on you.
2. Feeling comfortable enough to say anything.
3. Getting checked out by a cute guy when I think I look bad, its a reality check.
4. Fitting into 2 sizes smaller pants. (Yay curves!)
5. Sitting outside in the shade, in the heat, with a slight cool breeze and a book.

Top 5 things I hate

1. Room mates who won't clean.
2. People who pick fights.
3. People who never have anything good to say. They always think the worst of a situation.
4. Clothes ruined because someone else never learned how to do laundry.
5. Bubble bursters. (When you are enjoying something and someone else ruins it just because they can.)

What are your top 5s?

YES!!!!

So I got this wonderful piece of mail yesterday. I got my Income Tax Rebate. Now since I worked for evil, soul-sucking company *C, and they took off way too many taxes, I was expecting a couple hundred bucks. But then I remembered that I had not put my (2 years ago) tuition on the last year's return. So I added that on, and was expecting to be able to pay off a credit card. Maybe. So, with great trepidation, I opened the envelope. And nearly fell over in shock! This was way more than I had expected. So I did what any normal girl would have. I got caught up on all my bills, and saved a little for myself. Ok, since I also got paid yesterday, I gave m'self a little more than I had intended. $200 for me and $200 for my savings account. And the rest went to bills. Which I felt soooo good about, you have no idea! So what did I get for $200 you might ask? Tons! All of my clothes were falling apart (3 pairs of pants ripped from worn out use in the last 2 weeks, and bleach stains (thanks smart roomie!) on most of my favorite shirts, and my work shoes split all the way across the heel from 5 months of non-stop wear, now leaking.)and I wanted a few things for a long time. So here's the break down on the Queen of Bargain Shopping!

1. Brand new pair of dark wash jeans - 13.33
2. New work out T-shirt - 8.99
3. Work shoes - 24.99
4. Ice pops - 0.99
5. CD rack - 8.97
6. CD scratch repair kit - 9.87
7. Beautiful fake plant (I kill real ones) - 9.92
8. Awesome pink tank top with silver beading - 12.98
9. White shrug - 14.87
10. Gorgeous white and pink flowered beaded skirt - 17.77
11. Blue yarn (for baby blanket for cousin) - 5.97
12. New crochet hooks - 3.47
13. Last but not least, something purely for enjoyment - The complete 1st season DVD set of Charmed - 43.98

Not too shabby eh? I have shoes that don't make my feet wet, a new outfit that I feel awesome in, and something to do in the evenings for the next month! I can also fix and organize my CD collection, which will make me feel better as I have been wanting to do so for ages and ages. And finally, I can make my now 2 month old cousin his baby gift, while losing myself in the pure, unadulterated joy of mindless entertainment. I still have a few dollars left, which I may just use to purchase some beads, so as to have supplies for future birthday gifts. I'd say I spent fairly wisely. And now I am all caught up on my bills, and I feel better about my life in general. Hows that for ya? It worked wonders for me!

The Old Woman and the Wine Jar

An old woman found an empty jar which had lately been full of prime old wine and which still retained the fragrant smell of its former contents. She greedily placed it several times to her nose, and drawing it backwards and forwards said, "O most delicious! How nice must the Wine itself have been, when it leaves behind in the very vessel which contained it so sweet a perfume!"

The memory of a good deed lives.

Burnt Toast = Freebies

So apparently, having the slightest thing wrong with your consumer goods gets you free stuff. Crazy. This morning, I was having my usual breakfast, cereal with milk. And in my wonderfully satisfying bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch (I know, not so healthy, at least I eat breakfast.) and I bite down, and have the nastiest taste in my mouth. There is a very burnt chunk of what should have been sugary frosted goodness. So, being the former call center employee that I am, what do I do? I call up the little number on the side of the box to complain. (I was a little tired, and cranky from not enough sleep, give me a break.) So I call, wait on hold for like, 30 seconds, and then this very perky girl comes on the line, asking me how she can help.

Me: "Well, um, I was eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch this morning, and there was a big burnt chunk in it." (Realising as I say this that it is completely retarded, and why am I calling?)
Perky Girl: "Oh, I'm so sorry about that! Were there lots of burnt pieces? And can you describe them to me, please."
Me: "Um, I guess about 4, and they are just really dark, and were stuck together by the sugary stuff." (Really its a stupid thing to call about, I'm sorry, I really should just hang up now..)
Perky Girl: "Can you read me the serial # from the bottom of the box, and the item ID # from the top corner on the top of the box. It should be in a blue square."
Me: "[rattles off the numbers] I don't really know why I called in, I just thought maybe you guys might want to know..." (Ok, Laura, no more calls to 1-800-numbers until after at least 11 am, when you are fully awake and at least somewhat cheerful. Please, let us lose the connection...I feel like such an idiot!)
Perky Girl: "Oh, we certainly want to know, we appreciate our customers, and we aren't happy unless you are happy! I would like to make it up to you if I can miss, would it be all right if we send you a coupon for a free box? Would that make up for your inconvenience today?"
Me: "Uh, sure, thanks!" (Well aren't we just a little frickin' ray of sunshine! Hey..... wait a second.... she is giving me free stuff! What am I complaining for? You go girl!)
Perky Girl: "Is that all you needed today?"
Me: "Yes, thank you, you have been most helpful!"

And so there you have it. Because of a glitch in some cereal making machine somewhere, and my inate morning cheer (yes that is sarcasm), I will now be getting a free box of cereal. Hmmm, I think I am running out of shampoo. Maybe its a little more goopy than the last bottle.....

Woah! Just kidding folks! I'm not that pathetic. *Giggle* At least not all the time!

I suppose I shall be ... Miserly

Since I am going back to school soon here, and everything always costs more than I think it should, I have made a few "New School" resolutions.

1. No more fast food. It is just as easy to go home and eat last night's leftovers, or make a pack of ichiban soup.

2. No more new clothes. Not that I have bought any new ones in the last 5 months anyway, but heres the thing. I will go through my closet, bring whatever I don't wear to the consignment house, and then the money I get from selling will go toward new-to-me clothes. And I will be doing a lot of sewing.

3. Walk more. Don't drive to work, unless it is raining, get a ride whenever I can.

4. No more gifts. Sigh, this one might be the hardest. I love giving people stuff just to see their reaction! But from now on it will be baking, a cool bag I just made, or a coupon for some demented thing, courtesy of me. Hope no one minds!

Do I really think I can stick to this? I darn well hope so! Because its going to take a lot to get me out of debt later, and if I live like a student my whole life, well, maybe I can actually get somewhere!

Pressure

Has anyone ever noticed how much pressure we put ourselves under? I'm feeling very stressed out today, and there is no real reason for it. It's busy at work today, but not too busy, my house is a bit of a mess, but nothing an hour would not clear up, I don't have that much money, but I get paid pretty quick here, and I should be at least caught up on all my bills. So why do I feel stressed you might ask? Well, I have formally decided to go back to school.

So can you blame me for being stressed? There is nothing more stressful financially than being a student. Unless, of course, mommy and daddy are rich, and paying for the whole thing. *Sigh* Would that not be awesome? Alas, my mommers and dad are simply middle class, well off, but not to the point of paying for a child's entire 4 years of a degree program. Never mind the fact that they have 4 children. Do it for one, do it for all. They would be working until they were 90! And thats not fair to them. They have worked hard for what they have. Seems right that I should have to work hard for what I have. Unfortunetly, no one told me just how hard that would be.

So while I am stressed out about going back to school, I am also very excited. I have always loved school (not the junior high tormenting, but the actual going-to-school-to-learn type of thing) and I am a good student. An excellent memory for facts, and a simple joy of discovery serve me well in this regard. So I am looking forward to being back in the classroom for the intellectual stimulation.

If only I had a magic wand.... Anyone want to donate to the "Send Laura Back to School Fund"?

Bomb-shell

So I was watching a make-over show, one of many...sometimes I am pathetic I know! Anyway...so I was watching this show, and there was a "Bomb-shell coach", she was, you know, tall, blonde, and skinny. She was teaching this rather dowdy, short, asian-looking woman to be a "bombe-shell". I was totally suprised, because I thought it would be all about looks. I mean, of course, the aim of the show was to make the dowdy-ish woman look hot, but the aim of the coach was to give the woman more confidence, and I was astounded by the result. Even before the make-up and hair cut and new clothes, she was a totally different person. She had a few rules.

Rule #1: Walk tall, shoulders back, head up, lead with the hips. Walk with a purpose, you know where you are going, you are important, but not too fast.

Rule #2: Always make eye contact with people when you are talking.

Rule #3: Flirt a little.

Rule #4: Have a signature move.

So these are the rules. And they make sense. And as I was watching this show, I noticed that they were really working. She did become more confident, and it was all only in a couple of days!

The girl in the show always chewed on her lower lip. And when I say chewed, it was like she was trying to eat her face! So instead, she learned to sexily bite her lip. It was really cute!

I started to think about it. The more confident you make yourself appear on the outside, sooner or later, you start to feel more confident on the inside. Its like the people who tell the lie so often they start to believe it. I could handle more self confidence! So I started walking like a bombshell. I have noticed (and I usually don't notice these kinds of things, because I don't believe they happen to me...) that a few guys have checked me out. Hmmm. This could be a wonderful idea.

I'm not talking a whole personality change or anything, don't get me wrong! But just add a little oomph! I've got the walking part down. Eye contact has never really been a problem for me (unless the person is really creepy, then I have trouble...) The flirting I don't do much, but I can always change that. I won't be hardcore hitting on people, thats a little overboard, but a little smile and a brush of the arm never hurt anyone. Now just to think of a signature move.......

How does everyone feel about a sexy/playful (depending on who it is for) wink?

What a Joke!!

So I get this post card in the mail today......from.....oh......wait for it........my former employer!

The shit hole that drained away all my sanity and 18 months of my life! So, word for word, here is the post card, and (my thoughts on the wonderful thing!)

Dear Laura,

How's everything been going with you? (I'm fabulous! I don't work for you anymore, how could I be any better?) We've never been better over here at C* (of course you are better, you can't go anywhere but up when you are the bottom of the barrel!) but we have recognized that we couldn't have done it without people like you (Damn rights! All the little peons that you, well pee-on). I'm sure you recall all the great perks we had to offer, such as: tuition reimbursement (and if you are not a full-time student, well, you are screwed, sorry), company paid Alberta Health Care premiums (wow!), company paid benefits (medical, dental, and vision) (okay, those were pretty good), diversity, opportunity for advancement and paid training (not to mention the creepy bosses who hit on you, the screaming and yelling, the rudeness of both staff and customers... lets see, what did I leave out? Oh, the almost fanatical control you tried to keep over our lives? Yeah great perks! Thanks guys).

But then we asked ourselves, how can we make it even better? (pretty much anyway you can think of would make it better than it was...) So here's what we did. We removed the wage cap, increased starting wages, insituted pay for experience, increased flexible shifts, started part-time training, increased part-time hours and now offer student opportunities. (And do I doubt that these so-called extra perks will have 15 million limitations and provisos to them? Not at all!)

We've never forgotten you and the great contribution you made to our team. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Pretty much everyone I knew no longer works for you! I am convinced that you pulled my name off a computer database.) We've got great positions available in customer care and internet support (I'm sure you do. Under the boss? On top of him? That creepy, disgusting old dirty bastard!). It sure would be fantastic to work with you again Laura, so give us a call. (Once again, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm sure you want to be plagued by persistent sarcasm and apathy. These are traits naturally brought on by walking through your doors.)

All the best to you (Thanks! *Gives the finger* And this to you.)

*C Management Team (management? That's a bit of a stretch. Management implied there was some sort of order to the place.)

And then, at the very bottom, * All applications are subject to rehire guidelines (which are ridiculously retarded anyways)

So the summary of this lovely little story? Laura will not be going back to work for evil company *C anytime soon. I am rather attached to my soul. I'd like to keep it, you soul-sucking evil corporate vampires! (I guess I still feel a little strongly about the place....*sigh*). Let go of the anger Laura. Let go of the anger Laura. Let go of the anger Laura. (I think if I repeat it often enough it might work!)